Health Forum

Is there any other men with this at such a young age. He did have an affair and I thought that was why he couldn't stay hard (while the affair was going on). I actually think he was having a mid-life crisis. He has been told he has the pre-stages of diabetes. He has gained about 25 pounds over the last couple years. He has high-blood pressure (which I also think came on by the stress of the affair-am I wrong). Also, he was just tested with a high PSA level. Sign of prostate cancer or enlarged prostate-going to a specialist Friday. Are these the reasons for his erectile dysfunction or could he still be cheating? He's not an insensitive cheater type man and I thought that even though, he was making the decision to cheat, he was guilt ridden by the whole thing and caused himself alot of problems physicall. He also gets hand tremors. All that started around the same time the affair started.

Is there any other men with this at such a young age. He did have an affair and I thought that was why he couldn't stay hard (while the affair was going on). I actually think he was having a mid-life crisis. He has been told he has the pre-stages of diabetes. He has gained about 25 pounds over the last couple years. He has high-blood pressure (which I also think came on by the stress of the affair-am I wrong). Also, he was just tested with a high PSA level. Sign of prostate cancer or enlarged prostate-going to a specialist Friday. Are these the reasons for his erectile dysfunction or could he still be cheating? He's not an insensitive cheater type man and I thought that even though, he was making the decision to cheat, he was guilt ridden by the whole thing and caused himself alot of problems physicall. He also gets hand tremors. All that started around the same time the affair started.

Am afraid that he has prostate cancer.Sorry.
Chaos.

Your husband should see an Urologist to address the ED problem,and also the prostate problem can be treated by the Urologist,for the rest of his health issues he needs to get those address they can be underline to the ED as well.

I don't think he is still cheating but I would just keep a steady eye out, but affairs don't disengage being hard

he's not attracted to you

let me give you the number one reason for E.D. (provern over and over, but its kind of a secret, that america refuses to accept):

being overweight/out of shape/bad diet ect. (it could be either partner too). if he is 20 lbs or more overweight, then the odds are very very high, that losing the fat and getting fit will help it, and more than likely eliminate it.
think about what has to happen for a guy to get hard; your talking heart pumpin blood, muscles holding/pumping blood, and sending a bunch of it to one area of the body and keeping it there which requires more muscles. we live in a fat society so people kind of ignore all the "bad" side effects of being fat, and dr's especially are happy to perscribe a drug like viagra rather than make their patients simply get in shape and eat right. viagra makes the dr more $ and the patient doesnt have to change any habits, so its a clear winner over the real fix (getting in shape), because that would actually require work and discipline, and God knows that we americans dont have that.

but anyways; if he is in good health and shape, not only will every aspect of his life and marriage be better, but the sex life will be phenominal, for both of you. he will get stronger, harder, and firmer erections, and be able to last longer as well. not to mention it opens up a whole lot more fun postions and angles.

now on the flip, if YOU are overwieght by more than 20 lbs (could be less depending on your guy and what he finds attractive vs not), there is a real chance that it could be effecting his erections as well. guys are 100% visual (even as they grow older), so when the old lady starts to let herself go, the sexlife often gets bad. guys can turn on women both emotionally and physically, and even verbally sometimes., but guys are only visual. you cant talk a guy into having an erection. and you cant emotionally connect him into having one either. (talking dirty doesnt really count, because he is picturing every detail your saying, so its actually visual!)

also diet can really effect his performance alot. getting hard is an actual workout, as i stated earlier and bad food will not help at all. lots of soda/ sugar drinks/ unhealthy snacks ect just make you feel drained and have no energy, so they certainly will not help in the erection dept.
if its health or weight, you should both read "body for life" by bill phillips. its really motivational, pretty short, and you wont be able to put it down. its really that good. you will know what the best trainers do after reading it. it will inspire you to live life at a higher level. i lost 50 lbs doing about half of what he says and i never even did cardio. its amazing. also, fyi; im 29 and have the best sex life ever. when i was fat a couple years ago, i really thought i was starting to get ED, although it aways got up, it just didnt seem as hard as it used to and i thought it was shrinking to, lol. now that ive lost fat, its back to its OG splendor (it only shrank as more fat layered around it), is happy to rise to the occasion, and can perform the best ive ever been able to. its really amazing how fitness can affect the male sexual function.

also, like others said, ED is 95% physcological, so once it happens, its ALWAYS on his mind that it will happen again, and that he's not "being a man" and it creates huge stress and then it doesnt get hard. you can help this by not getting frustrated, and letting him know that you love him no matter what and that you will work on this together. be his support system. he's prob feeling very fragile, because ED is devastating for a man. Support him and love him any way to can, and once he see's that you really care and are there WITH him trying to help and comfort (not getting mad or frustrated) him, it will help him to mentally change gears and speed recovery..


also fyi...the cheating really has nothing to do with it. based on what you said about him, i believe his probems are 99% health related as well as possibly a little bit phsycological. betweent the weight, diabetes, and hi blood pressure...its pretty obvious. the good news is that him geting in shape, will probably cure all of these, as well as the ED!

most guys can get another erection if they are simply cheating, even on the chance that he's getting some from both ladies, there is usually enough time in between for him to get it up again with no problems.....unless he doesnt find you attrative, or if he thinks your overweight, then that could be the reason as well, as i kinda mentioned earlier.

just because a guy doesnt want sex, or has ED, does not mean he's cheating. i started turning down sex when a gf started gaining weight and it grossed me out.